I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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