As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
