My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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