I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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