That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
