I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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