I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
