i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
