After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
time to smoke my breakfast
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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