After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
