First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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