I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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