Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize