it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
