wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
