I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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