Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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