You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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