I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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