id be glad to
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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