ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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