Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
