your parents love me but you hate me
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Randomize
