Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you would pick up someone in the library
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
