I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize