I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize