It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
