So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
