He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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