no, he came in my armpit
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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