Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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