Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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