Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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