his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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