I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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