VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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