i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
