4 words: hood of his car
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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