In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
