I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
