everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
