it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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