Duck Duck Cougar?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize