what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
