Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
