just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
