have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize