The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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