Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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