Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
