Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
