i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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