Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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