I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I had to cum in my sink.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
