Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
