you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
True strength comes from lack of pants
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
