some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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