New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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