I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
