Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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