I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
