Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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