What did we do last night that was yellow?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize