I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Do you have feelings for this penis?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
