yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
