You work out of a Hotel?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
