If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You were trust falling into bushes
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
