Banned from zoo.
Again?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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