but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
