The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
